Cancer Is Now Just A Part Of Our Lives
Ethan’s sensitive, aware and interested in my breast cancer. Nat and I have been straightforward and honest with him, and our approach appears to have worked for Ethan. There have been many times through my breast cancer experience in which I’ve been touched and even humored by Ethan’s perspective and his responses.
In the beginning of my hair loss, but before I shaved my head, I walked into Ethan’s room to drop off some laundry. Ethan was playing with his Legos, and he mentioned something about my hair falling out. I told him that it was hard for me to lose my hair, and he responded casually, “But you’ll still look the same to me.”
It was only a matter of days later when Ethan and Nat sat with me at the kitchen table as I announced that the time had come for me to shave my head. I had just finished the shower where I had lost gobs of hair, so I was pretty broken up. I exclaimed through gushing tears, that I hated what breast cancer was doing to me.
That afternoon when Nat and I picked up Ethan from summer camp, I was wearing a bandana for the first time. Once we were in the car, Ethan noted that he could see my bald head. It didn’t sound like a big deal to him; it was merely a statement of fact. Before we reached home, we pulled into Walgreen’s, and Ethan decided to accompany me while Nat went to get gas for the car.
As we walked into the store, Ethan grabbed my hand. We headed down an aisle, and he said to me, “Lisa - I’m sorry that you have breast cancer.” I thanked him for saying that and said that I was sorry too that I had breast cancer, all the while thinking, “How old is this kid???!!”
I’m also surprised that cancer doesn't seem to be a major interruption to Ethan's life. He's never balked at accompanying me to the clinic. I would have thought he would have considered this utterly “boooooorrrrrrrrrring,” but he actually lights up when he knows he can come down to hang out with me between blood work and chemo. It bummed him out, however, when he learned that he couldn’t come up and stay with me during chemo (only 12 year olds and older are allowed on the 8th floor). Even though he heard the part about being too young, he assured me he’d follow the rules; he’d be respectful of the patients, and he’d love watching movies with me. When he realized that the rules wouldn’t bend just for him, he proclaimed that he’d look forward to joining me for chemo when he was 12.
Ethan can also be pretty matter-of-fact about my cancer. Take for example my inability to join his summer camp’s Mission to Mars. His teacher, Miss Hannah, asked me on the morning of, if I’d like to join the class for the Mission to Mars. Before I could answer, Ethan did so for me. “She can’t come. She’s got chemo this afternoon.” And then he gave me a hug “good-bye,” put his lunch kit down and headed over to the Legos’ bin.
One of my favorite exchanges so far happened a couple of days ago. I was particularly tired, so I had tucked myself in on the couch in the t.v. room while Nat and Ethan played with Legos in the living room. Ethan rounded the corner into the t.v. room to see me chewing on a Tootsie Roll.
“Ohhhh...Tootsie Rolls!!! Where did you get those??!!” I divulged the location and off he went. He returned with a handful and Nat close on his heels. Ethan had just about reached me when Nat sputtered, “Hey!!! What about some for your Dad??” Ethan quickly turned his head and said, “No, Daddy! These are for the cancer lady!” I almost fell off the couch laughing. Hilarious!!!
It’s a relief to know that Ethan doesn’t seem to be stressed about what’s going on. In fact, he seems to be coping exceptionally well. And for me, Ethan’s actions and remarks help remind me that cancer is now just a part of our lives. Simply said – it just is.
Love, Lisa
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Lisa... Thank you
Beautiful Lisa, Thanks for your beautifully written updates. They are lovely reminders for all of us to cherish our time with each other. -B.
Good morning! That Ethan is a fresh breath of air!!!! Give him a hug for me!
Hey Kids have the most wonderful gift for saying the right thing at the right time- even if we as adults balk at it sometimes. I know Ethan is able to sense your moods and say what you need to hear. What a terrific blessing! C.
Laughter is the best medicine Way to go Ethan! Sometimes a good laugh is all it takes to get over a hump. I'm so glad you have Ethan to give you that extra boost. Hope you guys are having a terrific weekend. Love, A. P.
Beautiful Kids are the best medicine there is:) Can I have an "Ethan" prescription?
"E" How nice to think that having Ethan in your life has provided you with so much comfort and laughter. You are so blessed. :) MUCH LOVE & HUGE ((((HUGS))))